“How beautiful it is to have loved someone so profoundly, that you grieve so deeply.”
These were the words spoken to me after the death of my loved one. As my friends and Instagram tribe know, a year ago today I said goodbye to the woman who raised me. My best friend. My biggest fan. In reality though, Alzheimer’s and Dementia had taken her away from me a year prior. For anyone who has not had any experience with these diseases, there is a grief that starts to happen prior to the actual physical loss of the person. You grieve the loss of shared memories, loss of personality, loss of what feels like the entire person. And standing in their place is the shadow of the person you loved, but love anew because that is unconditional love. And that love took the form of becoming her caretaker, her advocate and her voice. I have lost loved ones before. Those losses were deep and hard. But the spiritual bond she and I shared was something rare and very special. Her physical passing felt like a physical, emotional and spiritual pain so deep I did not know one could feel like that. You get down to the basics when you feel this way: Breathe. One foot in front of the other. Repeat. What I found is that you begin to crave “normalcy” in grief. By that, I mean YOUR sense of normalcy. Then, cue 2020. A whirlwind of constant discomfort and grief not only for myself, but for the world. There is no personal comfortable normal to be found these days; paradigms are forever shifted and we are just beginning to feel out what that means.
During my journey of grief this year I had key moments and insights that were healing, but also developmentally enriching for my soul. I have the wonderful gift of working with crystals. There have been two that have been so transforming for me during this process that I felt guided to sit down and write this blog to share that experience and insight.
The Ancient Etched Lemurians
About 3 months into my own grieving I was noticing, frankly, I was not doing very well. I just was not progressing as I knew I should be. It was around this time that I received what has become known as Ancient Etched Lemurians well before they made their debut at the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show. Unboxing these crystals felt like welcoming an old friend back. As my followers know, I tend to “hoard” my crystals before sending them off to the world. I’m sorry, I am not sorry! But, here is the reason why. They are midwifed. That means they are washed, and they are woken up. I work with them to listen to what they have to say. Working with these Ancients, or “Scriptures” as they are referred to in Brazil, I was guided to go deeper and explore that which was preventing me from healing. I had acknowledged to myself after she passed that within myself I was holding onto feelings and emotions that belonged to her. In my role as caretaker and protector I felt like it was my job to hold onto these things. That meant holding onto injustices that were hers, not mine. Anger that was hers, not mine. Sadness that was hers, not mine. During meditation with the Scriptures I had a powerful realization that I was holding onto these, because it was something that felt physically tangible to hold onto. One of the hardest parts about losing someone is the physical loss and feel of them. One of the constant reminders I have received from the Scriptures has been to let go of fear. Fear itself does not exist. What was unconsciously happening was that I was fearing a sense of emptiness if I were to let that part of her go as well. What would be left?
With the help of a friend during an energy healing session I gave those emotions back to her, and in doing so removed myself from playing the role of God and controlling for her what I thought she was too ill to handle. And in handing it over the emptiness was filled with love.
Red Dreamcoat Lemurians
Along the same timeline that the Ancients found their way to me, I was also welcoming the Dreamcoats and Cora. To find out more, please read my previous blog post. As the Dreamcoats began coming out in varying beautiful colors, these Red Dreamcoats appeared. As shown in the video below, they have Lemurian cores and a second overgrowth of quartz with hematite inclusions.
These Dreamcoats are deeper in the mine pocket. Older. Mature. They are healers and from my experience use the energy of fire. If I were to draw their personalities for you I would draw red dragons! The energy is protective in a pure and loving way. These are your best friend, because they will only tell you the truth, and with love, they encourage you to grab ahold of life and go for it! Manifest your dreams! And what more, they want to help that come about. They are going to work with you every step of the way. This “fire energy” that they use I have found helps to keep you alert and pay attention to what is really bringing you joy in life. They encourage you to ask yourself what is nurturing your sense of purpose, because there is no more time to waste on things that are not serving you that purpose! These are master clearing crystals that spark joy. This spark is like a star in the night sky to enlighten your path and guides you to lead with love and compassion. They are crystals of rebirth, burning away that which no longer serves you. From the ashes, the truer you is reborn.
I realize that if I had not let go of my fear, I would not have been clear enough to experience this next level of growth and healing by working with the Red Dreamcoats. The above is by no means an exhaustive list of my experiences working with the Scriptues or the Dreamcoats, or what I believe their attributes to be. I do however feel guided today to write this, and I will let the reason for that unfold. If you are someone who has recently experienced grief, please know you are not alone. Yes, it is hard. It doesn’t matter if it was a friend, loved one or animal. All grief is painful and sacred. So too does it offer us personal transformation to let go of that which is not ours.
In Loving Memory of Judy D.
May 7, 1928 - November 6, 2019
Disclaimer: This information is based upon my personal experience. Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professionals with any questions you may have regarding your health or medical condition. Never disregard the advice of a medical professional, or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this Website.